The water of the loch sparkles in the summer sunlight.  The sun might be shining, but it is still cold and in the low 60s.  The rock I always sit on has beckoned me over and I plonk myself down forgetting that rocks are hard.  The lapping of the waves around the shores of the mainland and the wee island is instantly soothing.  It drowns out the tourist buses’ roaring engines and the cacophony of the people bouncing excitedly towards the castle entrance.  Eilean Donan Castle is one of the top tourist destinations when visiting Scotland so there are always many different languages being spoken.  An argument breaks out about whether to visit the tea room for a delicious snack and cup of tea first or to go into the castle for the tour.  I did the tour years ago so now I just sit and enjoy the view of the rolling green hills while I eat a treat from the cafe.  One of my favourite treats is called a tiffin.  To get to the castle, you must cross a bridge that has three arches.  There is a perfect little curve to stand in for a photograph with the castle behind you.  The castle is not massive but has an impact on the scenery around it.  There is a big tower house surrounded by smaller buildings that are connected to it.  Inside, from what I remember, the rooms are decorated as they would have been during the 1700s and there are even “people” going about their daily jobs.  Some of their static faces are a little creepy!  The kitchen “people” are the creepiest! There are three lochs that meet where the castle sits in this large body of sea water: Loch Duich, Loch Long and Loch Alsh.  Because it is a sea loch, the tide goes in and out and the saltiness of the seaweed assails your nostrils.  Seagulls come in from the Atlantic Ocean and make a racket.  They are scavenging for anything they can find to eat.  Sometimes it is a snack from an unsuspecting tourist.  When the chilly breeze kicks up, the Saltire snaps in the wind.  The background of the flag is blue and has a diagonal white cross on it, like an X.  It represents St. Andrew, the patron saint of Scotland. Bagpipers sometimes stand at the edge of the loch and play traditional tunes.  Some people say bagpipes wail, but I love the sound of home.  I can sit on this rock for hours and just soak it all in.  It is truly beautiful!

PS…the picture that I took of this castle is at the top of my blog! 🙂

I am not going to lie…I am one of the least adventurous people I know.  I have the fears of injury, of doing badly, the unknown, and letting myself and others down.  My dad calls me a wuss! LOL!

There have been many times I have been afraid.  Going in for surgery, my first surgery, at the age of thirty-five was terrifying.  I didn’t know what to expect when I woke up from the anaesthesia.  But now I know, and know that I could do it again if I needed to.  I don’t want to…but know that I can.  Yes, it was painful but I know I am strong enough to get through it.  Going in for my second wee surgery at the dermatologist wasn’t as bad as the first time because I knew exactly what was going to happen.  See…it is that fear of the unknown that I am not comfortable with.  Knowledge makes me more comfortable and I understand that I can handle it.

FOMO is not enough to get me to do certain things.  At Christmas, my sister and nieces were here.  The girls wanted to go ice-skating.  I was terrified of falling and breaking my wrist or something else.  So I sat and enjoyed watching them skate in circles.  Well, sort of skate.  As it was their first time they mostly held on to things and were pulled along. LOL!  The fear was great enough for me to miss out on that experience with them but I would rather watch and enjoy than have a cast on my arm.  So in this case, I was perfectly happy for the fear to make that decision for me.

I have moved schools many times, as a student and as a teacher.  The fear has always been that I won’t make new friends.  But that has never been the case.  I have always found new friends.  But it is terrifying going into a new school, not knowing the procedures, wondering how you will fit in, if you will ever find your group of people.  It doesn’t matter if you are a kid or an old lady like me…the fear stays the same.  Even if you have moved a few times, and you know that you will make friends, for some reason this doesn’t help me the next time it happens.  Usually experience helps you understand things and that should make you feel better.  I don’t know why it is this way for me.  Is it that way for any of you?